It's always the same. Bohemians
latch onto something out of necessity or genuine interest. Slumming
rich kids who like to pretend that they're on the cutting edge
(and irritate their parents) latch onto the bohemian's discovery.
This makes it trendy. Once that happens, young, upper middle
class types who value the badass status gained from appearing
to be artists copy the trust fund kids. Some of these types franchise
it and sell it. Then the teen-agers buy into it and it appears
everywhere and becomes officially tiresome. Bohemians have long
since moved onto the next thing, though eventually the cycle
begins again.
The formula works the same in areas of town, except that it
involves residents in that scenario. By the final phase, the
residents can't stay where they are, what with rents going up,
so they move where they can afford to go, lying in wait till
the bohemians show up again.
Maybe it's time for bohemians to give some thought to someone
else for a change, to consider a little more than the five foot
radius that constitutes a frame for their attitudinal visage.
Maybe it's time for bohemians to prove that despite a penchant
for black and all that grimacing, they do have a sense of humor
and quite a wicked one indeed. Can't waste it all on collage
art and heroin forever!
The next time the urban landscape begins to shift, let's get
a gang of bohemians together and saunter down to the financial
district. Hang out. Do the usual coy posing - at the little outdoor
lunch areas, the cold little fountains, the shops where the girls
in suits and sneakers buy lattes, the lunch truck that pulls
up.
I know that no bohemian really wants to hang out in these
places, staring into the blank eyes of people the exact same
age but with access to dry cleaning and the goals of their parents.
But think of it as a duty or a small sacrifice. Let's get all
the bohemians together, maybe work up a list, perhaps some sign-up
sheets, maybe even come up with categories - "female, pierced
tongue, poet specializing in rape and religious imagery"
or "male, smokes Newports, noise musician" - that sort
of thing. We'll even take a hint from the enemy and schedule,
schedule like crazed officious college upperclassmen! We'll make
sure that at any given moment there will be a certain number
of bohemians hanging out in the financial district, bumming cigarettes,
maybe even coming up with witty things to say while they're panhandling,
like "Spare a quarter for community college."
Soon, little bohemian businesses will have to follow. We'll
only need one of each: closet sized night club; bondage shop;
hole-in-the-wall gallery; second hand shop; used record store;
coffeehouse. Eventually the rich kids, the middle class entrepreneurs,
and the teen-agers will descend upon the financial district.
Typically clueless men's lifestyle magazines will write this
section of town in their "cool travel" columns. Teen-agers
from neighboring states will make pilgrimages after seeing a
segment on MTV about it. We may get a Hard Rock.
Meanwhile, when you're not on shift, you can go hang out in
the really cool part of town, where bohemians happily reinvest
all the financial district earnings into someone else's smoke
shops and Greek delis. Subtlety is the key here - drop the typical
bohemian trappings like boots and tattoos and stuff. Go native!
Otherwise, the wrong person may make the wrong turn one day when
they're headed out to the financial district to hang out in one
of those really funky brew pubs that opened and that wrong person
may see something we don't want them to and get ideas in their
head.
And when the financial district gig is done, it's best to plan ahead. Remember, there are always water fronts and tourist spots and, of course, previously re gentrified areas. And, then, there're the suburbs . . .